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Writer's pictureCatherine Hulme

Watch That Door! - October 2024

And just like that, we are back into the thick of things! A never-ending to-do list, unexpected emergencies, tons of necessary admin PLUS, if you have any position of leadership or management, a likely string of queries and issues from colleagues. If you’re finding that the last of these is feeling disproportionately burdensome, read on.




An open door leadership style has many benefits in building trust and relationships, especially at the start of a new year. But if it’s left unmanaged, you may find that your time is spent more on other people’s problems than your own. This month, perhaps it's time to give some thought to whether you could take action to address those learned behaviours and habits of dependency which may be forming at your door.


If this doesn’t feel directly applicable to you, it is likely that someone you lead, support or coach may be struggling with this issue.


So let’s explore a few tools which may help in setting boundaries around ‘door management’ (literal or metaphorical, including your inbox!). Afterall, when you get this right, you’re not only creating time to focus on your own work, you will be encouraging colleagues to solve problems on their own rather than constantly seeking approval or answers, thereby developing their sense of autonomy, engagement and fulfilment in their own work.


If you're not already familiar with the concept of ‘Monkey Management' (covered in our Practitioner Coach programme), it's a good place to start. This metaphor from Oncken & Wass's 1974 Harvard Business Review article, demonstrates how managers often take on their colleagues’ 'monkeys' - tasks that should be handled by the employee - resulting in an overwhelming workload and a forever revolving door to get your help and answers.


Watch this short video to explore more about Monkey Management:




Being equipped with phrases to protect yourself from taking on other people’s monkeys can be really helpful. Examples:


  • I see. Sounds tricky. What are your options?

  • I understand. What do you think should happen?

  • Ok. Where could you go from here?

  • Thanks for letting me know. Who else do you need to involve to get this sorted?


Avoiding falling into the role of ‘Rescuer’ can be tough! When a colleague arrives at your door with a problem, that you know how to solve, it’s often quicker and simpler to do it yourself, rather than encouraging them to sort it. Actioning it yourself can also give you a sense of control and achievement. However, let’s move to Karpman's Drama Triangle (explored in our Lead Coach programme) to consider the longer-term impact of this.


Consider these 3 roles:


  • The Persecutor: a controlling, critical, and authoritarian character who gives instruction in a way which can imply to others, "You're useless!"

  • The Victim: feels powerless, ashamed and oppressed, seeming unable to make decisions or solve problems themselves, blaming the persecutor, "I'm helpless! It's not my fault!" 

  • The Rescuer: a classic enabler, often feeling guilty if they do not sort out the plight of the Victim, proudly demonstrating, “I can help!”


This Triangle traps people in cycles of blame, anxiety and dependency. The Persecutor continues to treat the Victim as useless, the Victim continues to feel helpless, the Rescuer continues to step in.  David Emerald’s Winners' Triangle (or Empowerment Dynamic) provides an empowering alternative. You can adopt healthier roles by making conscious decisions about your interactions and mindset: the victim needs to feel empowered to solve their own issues; the rescuer needs to be supportive without creating dependency, and the persecutor needs to provide constructive feedback and challenge. But how?

Coaching is a powerful tool to break free from the rescuer mode, as you encourage the Victim to see themselves as a Creator, and you as their Coach, not their Rescuer.


Even when colleagues are managing their own monkeys, and you are acting as a coach not a rescuer, the final hurdle may be around your delegation skills. The Levels of Delegation Model, of which there are several versions, aims to support leaders to entrust tasks to their colleagues with the right level of responsibility and autonomy, allowing them to develop their skills while knowing the level of communication expected. Effective delegation ensures that colleagues aren’t just ‘completing tasks’ but are growing in their abilities to make decisions independently. 


The 7 Levels of Delegation


Of course, we are not suggesting that you deny your colleagues access to you when they need you. Research shows:


  • "Fearless leaders place more emphasis on building connections – they have a greater number of “relationship” type values."

  • “Successful leaders deflect attention away from themselves and encourage others to voice their opinions. They are experts at making others feel safe to speak-up and confidently share their perspectives and points of view.” 

  • “Being personable is a leadership strength, while being unapproachable, prickly or guarded shuts people up and shuts them down, cutting off information flow and collaboration vital for a team to do its best work.”

  • “Increasingly, work is being executed through networks of relationships that cross boundaries within and outside the organisation. Leaders who excel at this capability demonstrate a talent for collaboration—a highly sought-after skill.”


Rather, we are advocating for a culture of Self-Efficacy: where individuals believe in their own ability to execute tasks and manage challenges. High self-efficacy leads to greater motivation, persistence, and resilience in the face of obstacles.


Leaders play a crucial role in building self-efficacy by setting clear boundaries and expectations of behaviour and mindset. Empowering staff to find their own solutions is a vital aspect of effective leadership, and workload management, creating a more resilient, productive, and empowered workforce.


We invite you to take a few moments to consider these questions:


  • What dynamics tend to be at play in my Door Management?

  • Which of the above tools and concepts feel important for me to work with?

  • What will I try to do differently from now on?

“The core of this is about developing people, and people reaching their potential. Individuals are now far more reflective, grounded, balanced, and willing to tackle some the issues which can be tough in any organisation. Knowing they have the tools and mindset to approach those is huge. Other people have then said, “we’ll have what they’re having!” People are less inclined to look to senior leadership to solve issues; there’s a sense of people being much more autonomous, resilient and willing to take risks because they’re thinking, “we feel the answers are within us.”

– Manny Botwe – ASCL President and Headteacher Tytherington School (a Leadership Edge Coaching School)

Finally, if you’d like to contribute to some current research about how school leaders manage their own decision-making processes, Lekha Sharma (School Improvement Lead, Avanti Schools Trust), would be very grateful for 5 mins of your time to share your experiences here: School Leaders and Decision Making Survey.


Now, who’s been gathering at your door and how will you manage their needs?


Very best wishes to all,




Director

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